is constant prayer an admission that you live in a horror movie? (religiorant)   Leave a comment


some people defer to the power of prayer for reassurance that they will survive a hurricane when it is bearing down upon them, and some use prayer to face difficult moments in their lives, some even need the power of prayer just to make it through the day itself, just to help them deal with all the evil twists and turns that are thrown their way every day as if they were living in a Hollywood Horror movie!

Constantly being ready to battle the evil in the world, via prayer, would seem to be a necessity for some people, seeing how at any second someone might reveal themselves to be an evil atheist to the poor-unsuspecting-holier-than-thou-extreme-in-the-name-of-Jesus-I-pray-religious types, thus leading to much wailing and gnashing o the teeth at the mere presence of a non-believer and theeeerere’s nothing like a good old PRAYER to ward off the evil atheist and his probable liberal agenda.

so given that some “extreme” believers act like they are dealing with Satan himself herself when they encounter any non-believer or any other Satan supplied shit, (otherwise known as “life”) do they really go around living their lives from day to day as if they are in a real life and real time horror movie? I mean, it’s not like an evil atheist can be easily “spotted” – it’s not like those evil creatures walk around with bits of flesh falling off their bodies as they drag one leg behind saying “braiiiinnns … bwraynnnsss.. brayayayaiinnnsss” thus making it clear to the extreme believer who is evil and who is not.

that is, does the religious fundamentalist, who sees the work of Satan in everything (ooooo is *he* an atheist? I *beT* Satan is an aTheIST!) they don’t find to be “godly” in their silly little worlds, do they face every day with a perpetual need to walk around with a prayer ready to be chanted and with their crosses clutched to their chests, held there to ward off all the evil vampatheists and other such vile anti-christ creatures of darkness?

And paranoid extreme believers realllly need to be vigilant in their efforts to ward off the evil unbelievers, don’t they?

because they just *never* know when one of those vile non-believer creatures is going to rise up from below and crack open the ground and spew forth from the pits of hell on a wave of Satanic lava and rip the soul right out of the body of the unwary christian sucking that poor unwary christian soul back down to christian hell for all christian eternity – and yes – the christian ground would close back up again as if nothing christian happened, thus leaving behind a fresh atheist-corpse-of-a-person where, just ten christian seconds previously, there once stood a pleasantly good christian nice good Jesus christian good loving and good christian god fearing good christian christian, just minding their own good christian business, probably on their way to a good christian prayer rally or some good christian church cake raffle or something else equally as christiany christian good …

PRAYER DOES HAVE A USE AFTER ALL

prayer does have a use during the horror movie that is the extreme believers life though.

Especially useful is its ability to alleviate a sense of impending doom, as it basically gives the believer something to do when faced with some impending crisis.

The advantage to the person praying, is that if they didn’t pray, we could very well have a full blown spaz attack on our hands.

And we all know that having a spaz attack, could very well be detrimental in any crisis situation, so yelling and screaming about how “Jesus is LORD” is not a good thing to do when a split second of distraction could see everyone dead.

For example: imagine you are a believer in a car as the passenger and the car is suddenly faced with some ungodly danger, as the passenger you could sit there and freak the fuck out screaming and yelling, thus distracting the driver and killing everyone involved.

Or you could be a good little munchkin and sit there silently in prayer with your eyes closed, as you pray to god Jesus Christ Mary holy mother of god Joseph and the holy ghost and father in heaven et al; that the driver is competent enough to avoid the impending doom. By remaining calm, you do not potentially distract the driver nor ruin the horror movie for everyone else with your incessant little comments and/or screaming about how god is going to help you defeat Satan and of course, Satan just happened to manifest itself as an impending crisis for *you* personally, thus by “defating” satan with your prayers you save the entire earth. Just like you are fucking superman or some other superhero. And then repeat as necessary to describe the rest of your entire paranoid real life horror movie.

So yes, prayer does have a use, but of course, one would hope that when driving, one would *not* sit there in silent prayer in the face of some sort of danger, especially when slamming on the brakes might actually prove to be a quite prudent move at that particular moment for the person driving.

SO, ARE NON-BELIEVERS THAT FUCKING EVIL?

Does non-belief really scare the fuck out extreme believers so much that they live their life as if it were in a 24hr horror movie marathon?

I have seen quite severe reactions when people figure out that I am not christian. One guy even implied that I deliberately deceived him because I wasn’t upfront about telling him that I was not christian. Hmmm? wow. okay. It was like he was talking to me then he glanced in a mirror, thus figuring out that I was a vampire seeing how I had no reflection, or something like that.

And does prayer give the overly-christian-but-completely-not-christian “christian”, that same sort of “release” that the viewer gets in that last scene of the suspenseful horror movie cliffhanger where the heroes of the story have finally overcome every last obstacle that saw them one inch away from death for the entire movie?

eg. an extreme believer wakes up, faces the day; they go about it; they leave the house but then if it gets too ungodly, they pray to god to save them from the wickedness that prevails; and that gives them comfort to do so; then they get through their problem; amen. (repeat as necessary for the next scene in the horror movie for the day) …

just like a holly wood horror movie …. Nightmare on Jesus street 1 2 and 3 …. except with prayer, there’s a catch, at least for the “christians” because you’re not supposed to pray for *things* to happen, you know that, right?

“oh lord won’t you buy me, a Mercedes Benz” … ah no, sorry Janis. that is *idolatry*, because to ask your god for something that you don’t already have, is to presume that you are worthy of having that thing and unless you are god yourself, you don’t get to make that determination.

you’re supposed to pray in thanks for what you already have (that’s a Matthew 6 reference, for those unlearned readers), but people don’t do that, do they?

When faced with some life threatening problem they pray for the preservation of their lives – but if god decided to take your life at that particular moment, then why the hell are they praying? is it not arrogant to ask that god change its mind via your simple prayer at the last minute from this horror movie scene that is your life?

That’s very up-yourself to think that *you*, can change the mind of *god* – god’s perfect plan for everything and suddenly *you* think that you can have god alter that plan at the last second right in the middle of the live broadcast that is your horror movie life?!?!??

*sigh*

it seems that prayer gives people comfort in the face of disasters and evil-ungodly things.. well, I’m glad that those people feel some sort of comfort out of it – but why does it give comfort? What is the implication of getting that comfort? You see evil -> you pray -> you get comfort -> you carry on … but what if the “you carry on” bit doesn’t happen? …. you *die* perhaps?

so … how do you get comfort from prayer in the face of the evils in your horror movie life unless you *already* “know” that you are *already* saved. And if you don’t think you are already saved, what makes you think this last second prayer is going to make a difference to whether you are saved or not?

as a “christian”, not only do you pray at the last second when you are *supposed* to spend your whole lives doing good deeds for needy, but your prayer at the last second also makes the bold assumption that little old *you* can change the mind of god in the last few seconds before it snuffs out your life …

B U L L S H I T – Y O U R S E L F – M U C H??

this is very much akin to watching a “hollywood formula” horror movie where the hero faces adversity; the crowd identifies with the characters; the audience lives vicariously through the plight of the characters; the characters battle for their lives and the blatantly stupid guys and super cute supposedly teenaged girls with big tits and short skirts are killed off, then at the very last minute the hero of the story, will come up with a Hail Mary prayer of an idea thus saving his, her or the entire planets’ butt at the VERY last minute, thus living to face another day at the end of the movie, possibly in an even lamer sequel to that horror movie that is your life.[**]

——–

[**] Have you ever noticed in some movies that if the characters had just sat there and did nothing whatsoever, that the end result would still have been about the same? Well, except in the movie, all the characters went on that adventure where they all got killed, whereas had they just stayed where they were when the movie started, no-one would have got hurt?

mostly written, Sunday, 28 August 2011, mostly ….

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Posted 28 September, 2011 by manabrau in atheism, Christianity, evil, god, idolatry, jesus, Religion Sux Arse, sarcasm, satan

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