Satan V God – who appears the most in the bible?   Leave a comment

Satan V God

who appears the most in the bible?

considering how much christians go on about THA DIVIL *sooooo* much … i figured that well, The Unholy Fellow must be getting some serious air time by getting a mention on every page of the bible… but ….

Satan – 56 times in 49 verses

Lucifer – 1 times in 1 verses

Devil occurs 61 times in 57 verses

His Darkness occurs 118 times in 107 verses

Wow – His Most Unholiness appears a lot!! way COOL! no wonder those loopy christians go on about him all the time!! shit man.. let’s see how many times that other guy gets a mention… what was his name again? oh that’s right. let’s see how poor Jesus goes..

Jesus occurs 983 times in 942 verses

WOW!!! You’d think loooney christians would go on about Jesus NINE times as much as they do about The Prince of Darkness… but I’m thinking it’s more like half and half… hmmm, oh wait… i forgot god!

God occurs 4473 times in 3893 verses

oh SNAP! god appears in about 36 times as many verses as The Ultimate Evil Dude does – and if you count Jesus as being on god’s side (LOL!) then that’s 45 times as many verses

so I’m thinking that christians should focus on the good things at least ten times as much as the bad things, but that’s not how it is, is it?

it’s a small minority that is destroying christianity for everyone, isn’t that joyful? the christian fundies themselves that are doing the work of The Most Dark and Glorious Sinner!

oh maybe it’s just that the worst christians fundies are online venting their anger into the cyberspace trying to taunt a reaction from some angry atheist?

or maybe they did what I did and just read and focused on all the cool bits of the bible that mention The Dark Lord, and other cool stuff like 6 6 6 – man I love “The Omen” – and dragons with seven heads slaughtering lambs while sounding trumpets while these four MEGA DUDES bring the ravages of Time, the despair of Famine, the rampant spread of disease of Pestilence, and ultimately, Death, but instead of having fun with it like I did, they became scared of the His Most Unholy Darkness!!

go figure…

ps. but maybe i did watch The Omen too many times

* Statistics from King James Version at Blue Letter Bible

Posted 14 September, 2009 by manabrau in Religion Sux Arse

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