Has Jesus already returned? (religio-rant)   Leave a comment

What would have happened to Jesus if he had been in Salem at the time of the witch burnings back in the 1690s?

It is *not* beyond the realm of possibility that Jesus would have been burnt at the stake for heresy, and it’s not beyond the realm of possibilities that Jesus is sitting in a looney bin RIGHT NOW with drool coming out the side of his mouth from being doped up on whatever it is they use to keep people with mental illnesses “calm” because he “claimed” to be the Messiah!!

Seriously, you’re walking down the street minding your own business and some hobo looking dude smelling of urine (actually it wouldn’t matter if he was wearing a three piece suit and smelt of some Calvin Klein for men cologne) walks up to you on the street and says

HOBO: “hello my child, will you believe in me? For I am the Messiah, returneth. Here I am today, right now, and I have chosen you to be my first disciple. Will you walk with me on this journey to save this world?”

What would you do?

I’d roll my eyes and keep moving right from the moment he said “will you believe in me” , if he insisted and or persisted with this conversation, my defenses would go up and I’d be mentally preparing to deck this guy or be ready to at least return the hostile attitude the instant he started getting hostile himself. If he started rattling off things about me, my name for instance, I’d assume this guy was stalking me, I would assume that he is dangerous, I would not be amazed that this random person knew my name, I would think he was up to no good whatsoever.

I’ve been accosted before with people pushing their religions in my face, and to me that is offensive and rude. If this guy was truly Jesus he would *know* how offended I would be by his contacting me like this *already*, and he wouldn’t be stopping me in the street, he would be rocking up to my house, knocking on my door.

But, what would *you* do?

Everyone (that’s the “christian-everyone”) is waiting for Jesus to return? You christians may have already killed the poor Jesus bastard and nullified your second coming already…

and seriously, ask yourself this, how sure are you that *you* are not the Messiah?

“He’s not the Messiah!! He’s a VERY naughty boy!!”
–monty python

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Posted 7 March, 2009 by manabrau in Religion Sux Arse

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