tired of politically correct? me too, so MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!! (offensive, politically incorrect dark humour)   Leave a comment


mostly written, 2nd December 2007, mostly ….

Mr. Garrison – Merry Fucking Christmas


Mr. Garrison: I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs

They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday
And so every December
I go to the Middle East and say…

“Hey there Mr. Muslim
Merry fucking Christmas
Put down that book the Koran
And hear some holiday wishes.

In case you haven’t noticed
It’s Jesus’s birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
and fucking celebrate.

There is no holiday season in India I’ve heard
They don’t hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd!

They’ve never read a Christmas story.
They don’t know what Rudolph is about
And that is why in December
I’ll go to India and shout…

Hey there Mr. Hinduist
Merry fucking Christmas
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus.

In case you haven’t noticed
It’s Jesus’s birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass
and fucking celebrate!

Now I heard that in Japan
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods
And put needles in their skin.

On December 25th
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan
And walk around and say…

Hey there Mr. Shintoist
Merry fucking Christmas
God is going to kick your ass
You infidelic pagan scum.

In case you haven’t noticed
There’s festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry fucking Christmas to you.

On Christmas day I travel `round the world and say,
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,
Merry Fucking Christmas, To You!

(Clapping)

Thank you Mr. hat

from
www.stlyrics.com

who gives a rats arse what ppl say at christmas time!! i personally say “happy christmas” and “merry new year” just to be difficult…

Australian society is very similar to the USA in that we have a lot of ethnic groups but we tend not to tolerate ppl being stupid – if u don’t like having a merry christmas then shut up or we’ll more than like rub it in your face even more – which is the aussie way after all!!

“So Ahmed! what did santa bring you? oopss! Sorry forgot that you are a Jewish person! … what! oh?? oh sorry!! a muslim? …. hows that working out for you? so, when do you think muhammed is coming back anyway? is he supposed to return? I wonder if he and Jesus aren’t going to show up at the same time and it’ll be a double bill! or maybe they’ll duke it out?? oh? there’s a jihad out on me?? when did *that* happen?? I mean i know there’s a generic one out for every christian and jew on the planet but… heh?… where did he go?” ..

but really it’s all in good fun – and you should hear the crap we give to the poms, the kiwis.. and we used to hang shit on the pakis and the indians like it was normal.. it’s a cricket colonial thing, but not anymore……

the world became less of a fun place to live in after 9/11 .. which i am certain was the idea, heh Mr Bush? get ppl all scared so you can invade a country on a lie and get away with it coz everyone in the USA hates them Muslims now? hey, Mr Bush?

in australia we still put up christmas decorations in the office regardless of there being ppl of different faiths – either they accept the culture of the country that they are NOT from or they can get out… seriously i know that’s not very tolerant but we *are* very tolerant in australia.. but don’t push you’re luck trying to inflict your values on us though..

if somebody complained, i’m sure there would be ppl who would go out of their ways to be christian to the faces of the ppl who complained.. seriously if i was being nice to someone by saying “Merry Christmas” and they complained about that .. i wouldn’t let them hear the end of it – i’d probably wish them merry christmas all year… or the appropriate thing for the season…

I mean saying “Merry Christmas” is a time honoured tradtion in oztraylia – and we don’t give a rats if you are christian or not – we like Christmas – it’s summer – it’s hot – the beer is cold – we love it – either join in the christmas spirit of mateship and comradery – or just nod and smile – because damnit if i was in your country i’d say, “thanks mate!!” if you were to wish me “Happy Muhammed day!” – even if some muslim in australia were to wish me a day of peace on June 8 (anniversary of muhammed dying in 632) – i would smile and say thanks! I really would – why can’t ppl of other faiths just go with the flow? why is christianity the lesser of the three evils?

when i was a kid there was no such thing as islam or judaism or any other religion – in fact all i knew was that i was roman catholic and that there was a church of england or some such – never really occurred to me that there were other religions – but when i found out there were other religions – it kind of cheapened christianity for me – to the point where i hated it. i hated the movie “the mission” not because it was crap – it was brilliant – but just the whole spreading of christianity like that… and suffering for your sins .. and nup.. never occurred to me to be an atheist either.. i just wasn’t catholic anymore…

but now all this petty bickering about respecting a culture that says if you are raped you commit adultery if you don’t have witnesses to back up your story….

but in saying that – if i went to some muslim country and they had some stupid custom of saying “Peace be unto the Prophet” every time i referred to muhammed (or whatever) – i would say it no questions asked – i would not be trying to convince the ppl around me that i don’t really believe in muhammed and that i’m offended that i have to say something stupid every time i said his name – no! i would do whatever the culture wanted! I WOULD RESPECT YOUR CULTURE – i wouldn’t like it but i *would* conform!

so why the fuck in “western” countries should the 95% majority who are content with the christian based society – even if they aren’t active christians – have to alter for the 5% minority?

WHY??

if u don’t like it go back to islamistan or to jewtonia or back to the jungle with the other head hunter cannibals where ever it is u are from – yes go back to your wars and your famines and your religious hatred – don’t bring it here thank you! things are were fine..

ppl of different faiths should respect the cultures that they are entering .. so either assimilate; or don’t bother coming here in the first place; or shut the fuck up…

one day they’ll accept my application to join the Foreign Relations office!

–edit–

to be fair – i hate all religion – i think it’s stupid – but it doesn’t mean that i have a problem with other ppl having religion – and it doesn’t mean i’m going to ram it in your face to give up your faith – it’s sweet that you can believe in something that has no proof what-so-ever… but don’t go trying to inflict your values on us – because you know damn well that those values are outdated and while they may be good for you – have a look around you – our values have given us this way of life – you complaining about “merry christmas” is a petty thing but it is indicitive that you want to bring the things that you think are “good” into our society and you want us to change our society to accept you — NO — you do NOT do that – that is FUCKING rude

i said it b4 and i’ll say it again – if i ever went to your country and you had stupid customs i would attempt to fit in and i wouldn’t dream in hell of making you change them at all – EVER! .. and you know .. those things you think are “good” could be very well why your home land is in turmoil in the first place – so keep it to yourself or fuck off – that’s the same for all religions – put it in my face and i consider it assault – so expect to be treated with contempt if you walk up to me and say “Accept Christ?” …

i’m all for different cultures having holidays and stuff – that’s the way to the aussie heart – get your religious days made into public holidays! “What did you do for Ramadan?” “We went snorkelling up near Townsville” “Sweet! I stayed in town and got smashed every night!” – which is probably not in the spirit of ramadan now is it? but still…. it’s a sharing of the cultures

and yes while christianity has stopped being so invasive in the last 100years or so – christianity invaded pretty much the entire world… north, central, south america, africa, australia.. cripes pakistan and india are part of the commonwealth so they were part of the british empire at one stage.. i don’t approve of all the christian invasions but i wasn’t there – but i think i’d prefer the more tolerant christianity to the strictness of other religions…

frankly i was open to tolerating ppl’s religions but when they start to whinge that they can’t have such and such or they are offended by our customs – it’s like i’m sorry – why are you here again? is it because your country is crappy? could your country be crappy because of the wars fought between different religions? so what is you are doing now? are you trying to lay the seeds of war and conflict here by trying to get us to be “tolerant” of your religion and respect your values? when are you going to stop asking us to tolerate more and more of your shit?

I’ve seen plenty of news reports where foreigners haven’t followed your customs and they’ve been carted off to the desert and tortured over what? for not being understanding of your customs? do we torture you for days on end when you don’t like being wished merry christmas?

another purpose of this blog was ppl playing the race card to what end? to piss ppl off? deliberately? where i was working once some lecturer complained about our office door having merry christmas on it one year.. why? it was in a hall that was solely there to get access to our offices so it wasn’t a thoroughfare where ppl were walking past all the time – anyway, that sign stayed there for about two years and no-one complained again… it could still be there actually..

–edit–

oh i didn’t think about the aborigines in the above and i’m sorry but if i was there i would have objected to their treatment – my first best friend was an aborigine so it never really occurred to me that ppl could be treated differently because their skin colour was different

also above when i said 95% or ppl i meant that surely 95% of ppl are happy with the way things are – regardless of their religion – i mean it is why they are here – in fact that number would be about 99% of ppl who actually wanted to live and let live and all get along

i don’t mind what religion ppl follow – but keep it away from me – i mean how can somebody say to me this is the word of god, then twenty minutes later someone else says that what he is saying is the word of god… the arrogance of these ppl to both think they are right.. i don’t know what’s right so i don’t believe in anything – but then if they claim that their god is one and the same – then it’s like well why don’t u convert to his religion or vice versa?

if you are from another country – great!! hello!! welcome to australia! merry fucking christmas

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Posted 2 December, 2007 by manabrau in 9/11, Islam, rant, Religion Sux Arse

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